Jackson County Lands Hollywood Sharks

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into Jackson County … comes a tale of sheer horror that TV viewers haven’t seen since “Sharknado.”

Reports coming in from the Jackson County Tourist Development Council say that the production company for a new B-grade horror flick, “Sharkansas Womens Prison Massacre” (brought to you by the director who gave us “Dynocroc vs. Supergator”), has scouted filming locations here and is ready to set up shop. Scenes could possibly be filmed at Florida Caverns State Park, Blue Springs Recreational Area, Merritt’s Mill Pond and the historic Russ House.

As the title suggests, the action takes place in Arkansas. The plot is pretty straightforward. Miners accidentally open up a crack in the earth that allows a prehistoric ocean filled with monster sharks to disgorge its lethal contents — straight up toward a women’s prison. It’s a safe bet that mass chomping action ensues, quicker than you can belt out a chorus of “Jailhouse Rock.”

This is actually great news – for Jackson County, that is. The filmmakers have started to pump big money into the local economy, according to TDC Director Pam Fuqua. Madison’s Warehouse Restaurant in Marianna will provide catering services and local outfitters are supplying boats and other services.